I had mentioned previously that since Dancer moved on to a warmer climate I have been looking for my next project and because I am so determined to seek the boundaries of my goals, I was breaking a sweet, sweet filly who helped solve my lack of horses for the last couple of months.
There is no better feeling in the world than that first ride, stepping up into the stirrup and gently swinging your leg over the horses butt and settling down into the saddle. That is probably the best moment ever, and the moment when they take their first steps with a rider on their back, it is fantastic. Gracie was a dream to break, her first rides were fantastic and trotting figure eights on the 8th ride has never felt so good. Then I had to take a step back and remember something, poor Gracie is only 18months old. I was only going to sit on her, then I was only going to walk her, then only trot a little bit, and suddenly I found myself riding her a couple of times a week.
Again, I reminded myself of her age, and yes she was exceeding my expectations, probably because I was so hungry to ride, how young she is. I always need a horse in my life, and advancing on a horse is really what I love most. This means that Grace was not ready for what I have been looking for. I keep having dreams of jumps, cross country and more, therefore I keep riding at night, and wishing to ride during the day. Riding is as natural to me as walking. Back to Grace, I had to do some soul searching and do what was best for her and give her a while to grow up more. As much as I wish I could be riding bareback through a field jumping logs, I needed to take a step back and give her what she needs, growing time- landing me without a horse, again.
But I remind myself that the most important thing in dealing with horses is to remember that we are here to do what is best for the horse, not the rider. If something is convenient, then that may not be the easiest or best thing for the horse at the time. This is what a rider must remember, always the horse has to come first. I am ashamed to say that I put my own happiness before a horse, and I wish I hadnt. I need to give Grace the growing time she deserves and find myself a horse who is going to serve my needs. It is just like any relationship, and it is never good to take advantage, give and take must be there, and a match needs to be equal. Sometimes I hate meeting reality.
This means I began a new search for something, some horse who needs love and some saddle time, and I may have found somewhere for me to fit in, and possibly chase my dreams. I do not want to get ahead of myself, because when I do, I get let down. But maybe, just maybe, this one will work out. Maybe I will get a leg up into my dreams, and not just be riding at night.